To Kill A Love Bird

It's 6:10am. It's been forever since I realized I was in love. There are so many things that happened. So many tears that fallen. So many cries that was left unheard. I am in pain, thus, I am in love.

I can feel I'm hungry right now. I want to eat burger.. no, veggie salad.. no, chocolate. Well.. No matter what happens, I should eat, because I' hungry. 

For me, being hungry is the perfect metaphor of being in love. If you love someone, you feel the need to be loved back by that person as much. You need to feed your hunger. And when that person do not feed you the way you need to be fed, you will suffer, and will soon die. And that's what happened to me. I died.

I didn't mean I literally died when I said that. I was pertaining to my feelings. And it tragically and inevitably died.

Loving a person who you do not really love is the hardest thing to do. Teaching your heart to love someone you don't like is the dumbest thing to do. That's why I can't blame the person I love for not loving me. However, I can't blame myself either. As much as it's hard to love someone you don't, it is also hard to not love someone if your heart tells you to love that person.. I love a person. That person does not love me. I am hungry, that person did not feed me. Hence, I died.

I died. And I can't blame anyone for my death. It's not that I gave up. It's not that I accepted that I AM a loser. It's not that I am weak. It's just that.. I died. People die even if they're strong. People die even if they're still fighting. People die even if they're still striving for the win. People die without being happy.  People die... because they're hungry.

But even if that part of myself died, I still am savoring the love that God lets me feel.. That kind of love makes me alive. That kind of love makes me vulnerable to death of my whole self. That kind of love gives me life.

 Pain can kill me. But love will keep me.

From now on, I will be happy.. I will be happy even if this world offers so many destruction and pain. I will be happy even if everyone is not able to love me back. As long as God loves me, I will love, and be loved back.

God bless, everyone!